imagine if we treated ourselves as She.

If we woke up each morning aware of the intricate miracle of our bodies.
If we bathed ourselves as a being of beauty and wonder, annointing ourselves with dedicated wonder.

Imagine if we adorned ourselves as if we were decorating with blessings the most adored presence.
If we walked with the knowledge of our magnificence in our every step.

Imagine if we made choices that were deserving of the very deepest holy space.
If we chose to receive only that which is truly nourishing in the most honourable of ways.  Dismissed that which is vacuous as unworthy chose to fill up, body and soul, on only the very best.

What if we treated ourselves as She?

Normal is a really loaded word.

I have had times in my life where I have railed against it and times when I have craved shelter within its walls.

Normal means to be within the confines of what is deemed acceptable.

It can be a word that makes people feel vindicated, on the side of right, within the bounds of what is desired in a measurement of some kind; a blood pressure reading, dates of birth, test scores, bounds of behaviour...

It can be a way of gathering people together "Oh that is entirely normal."  was a sentence that made my new mother heart feel so relieved.

And, it is for many, a word of exclusion and fence building.

A young rugby league player sustained serious spinal injuries in the weekend and on announcing that he will now be a paraplegic, a rugby league spokesman said they were holding out hope that there is a mistake and that he will live a normal life.

I was instantly defensive.  People with disabilities are normal.  Humanity is a continuum of all kinds of measures, kindness and compassion, height, weight, religion, nationality, ethnic group, whether you like nutella or not... all kinds of things make up this crazy human experience.

But to exclude someone from being normal because of an accident is offensive.  He is still the same man.  Sure he is going to have to make a shitload of changes but he is still the 23 year old he was before that tackle went wrong.

I want to help people to see that this kind of exclusionary speech separates people.  In a time where he most needs connection the clumsy attempt at kindness and hope that was offered just pushed his boat further from the shore of "Normal".

Then when I came home I read this from Dr Ronna Detrick.    She quotes Dr Estes whose words on normal were a long drink of water for this very thirsty ugly duckling when I first picked up Women Who Run With The Wolves 20 odd years ago. 

The 3 Secrets of the Gifted Soul

1. “Since you were born gifted, you will never lead an ordinary life.”
2. “Eccentricity is the first sign of giftedness. You are made one-of-a-kind, with all your oddities. They are arrows pointing straight to your giftedness.”
3. “If you are seeking to be normal, I hope you’ll get over it. Normalcy is the enemy of giftedness.”

So normal gets turned on its head here... To desire normal is too small for us.  To desire shelter within the range of what the overculture deems acceptable is what keeps us small.  Stops us from speaking our wisdom out into the world, painting our paintings, dancing our dances, singing our songs, writing our poems.


Normal can be a haven where the windows are closed and the air is musty.  Where unlived lives gather dust. 

I would like to reclaim normal as the whole of the continuum of humanity, with our giftedness and our tediums, our magnificence and our mediocrity are all swimming in the same ocean.


What we fish out is up to us.

The wonderful Andrea asked me to participate in this blog hop around building your dreams and i was really honoured to say yes.   Here is the brief she gave me....

Honoured because as far as instigating dreams go, her Creative Dream Incubator started me on the path to today.  Her magic works and i will always be grateful for what happened in the CDI.  I am sure her "Give your Dream Wings" e course will be just as powerful and i really encourage anyone who feels that prickling of curiosity to give it a go.  What a generous offer into the world... a course that will support you now. No waiting for finances required!  Magic.

What has happened since i tentatively launched Reframing Your Story into the world (which was delivered like a parcel that i just had to tie a bow on) has been remarkable.

I have been through several incarnations of my presence in the world until now i have a beautiful clear bell of an offering ringing out to the hearts that are tuned to the sound.  I get to do what i love each day,  I teach, i create beauty and i get to hang out with people who make my soul sing. i am blessed with more ideas than i know what to do with and i am creatively, spiritually and in every other way more alive than i have been for years.

Man it feels good to write that.  

But this isn't about how shiny things are right now.  This is about making wings for my dreams.  

Dreams are like these gifts from Creator that offer us a chance to make our contribution to the world.  They are unique to us, even when a thousand other people have the same dream because things come through the filter of our hearts and our experiences unique to us and no one else.  Dreams are like a gift from the Beyond.  They are magical and real.  And seeing one come into the world is the most life affirming thing i know of.  Making wings for dreams is not just the work of Daedalus* but it is our work

And the truth is that process is not always shiny.  

Some days wing making is me sitting in a pile of feathers and glue ranting curse words about how difficult it all is.  Some days it is just about staring at the glue and feathers and wondering if anyone is saying anything interesting on facebook.

The truth is that building a dream (even one that lands in your lap like Reframing did) is often tedious and confusing.  It may require you to learn skills that you don't have.  It may require you to be doing things that is the work equivalent of having a cavity filled.  It may require you to look into your shit - actually my experience is all my dreams opened that particular can...

Dream building is not all rainbows and unicorns.  It is real human endeavour.  It is the stuff that requires us to step into our bigger selves.  To turn up brave and willing.  

That can be tough when you have failed a couple of (hundred) times.  Or compared yourself to someone else's shiny life. Or really admitted how tiring it is being a dream follower.  Or listened to the voice (internal or external either way it is the suckiest) that says "Why bother - that is no cure for cancer?"

The one thing i have found that helps get me through that - well through anything tough actually, is self compassion. 

Yep.  Just that.  Not letting myself off the hook and back onto facebook, but the ability to turn up for myself and say;

"Yep, that is sucky.  And you are not.  You are doing good honey.  It's going to be O.K. Keep going.  Try another way."

I have to be the voice that will encourage me.  I have to be the one who holds this precious dream in her hands and marvels at all it has to offer.  Who see the exquisite richness of it and believes in it enough to pick up the glue brush and try again.

I have learned about self compassion from many places and would like to recommend the work of Kristen Neff_ Even when wrangling your Unicorn Dream it is wise to learn to offer yourself compassion for the things that you will have to endure (even unicorns poop and someone has to clean it up).  We all need you to turn up for your dream and to have the guts to see it through - if Andrea hadn't believed in her dream I wouldn't be here saying this.  We all need you to turn up.

So what if you don't cure cancer.  Your blog might make someone who is grieving feel better.  Or your creation might inspire someone else to make something beautiful that gives someone encouragement who goes back to the lab just in time to notice the reaction that is the cure for cancer.  Who knows how it works?  Not me.

But i do know we have one life and we are obliged to try.  To turn up.  And to do it kindly.

So on behalf of what you dream that will change the world, Thank you.

go here  to find out about the free e-course, and to read the other (crazy inspiring!) posts in this Blog Hop.

*Daedalus was Icarus' father and the guy who made the wings and warned him not to go to close to the sun.  We all know how that turned out.