This is the kind of wisdom that has kept us here on the planet (for better or worse). It makes evolutionary sense to know when we must learn that something is dangerous or potentially so.
When we feel pain we get a chance to withdraw and make a better decision. We get to choose another action, another path.
We may learn the lesson for ourselves, and pass it on to those we love.
"Don't touch the flame you will get burned." "That is sharp, be careful". "Those are poisonous. Don't eat them"
There are times though, when our instincts either don't serve us or we over-ride them - both causing more harm than we need to endure..
There are versions of hurt; a broken heart for example, where our instincts tell us to run. We want to run from the pain, distract ourselves, avoid the suffering. This means that our hurt is buried out of sight and we are blinded to the root cause or to any potential we have to learn from it.
Couple that with situations of psychological harm, emotional harm, where our instincts tell us to run away and our hurt is so overwhelming that we get frozen. We stay when we should run. Or we avoid looking at what is really happening because the cost of discovering what is really happening is too great.
When our patterning, our cultural mores, our understanding of what is ok, colludes with harm making - a good woman is compliant and makes the peace is a good example, we are bound to the harm making in ways that set us up, if not for diminishment then for deep wounding.
It takes a step out of both our cultural paradigms and our instinct to avoid hurt to come face to face with the harm making we are experiencing.
If you have a broken heart there may be some things that will help you tend to the harm without making you feel like you have been smashed by it.
"When i look into my heart what do i believe?"
"Whose voice does that remind me of?"
"Where can i turn for insight and wisdom on this ?"
"How can i be kinder to myself in order to allow the shy truth to reveal itself?"
When you are hurt the last thing you need is to hurt more with an unkind internal voice, all you are doing is colluding with the harm maker.
Find a way to speak to yourself kindly, take responsibility for your part in things and take action to mend.
Turning towards your pain is a way of ensuring the future will be different. Turning away will make the same lessons more insistent.
If you are interested in doing work that will help you turn towards yourself in suffering you might like Facing the Minotaur. Please go here to find out more about it.