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I am the kind of person who...

11/5/2019

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Picture
I am the kind of person who has a face that looks like I am sour or mean or hard or displeased when I seldom am.
I am a person who often gets misinterpreted.
I am the kind of person who walks around noticing shapes and colours and thinking about the ways they might work in a painting.
I am a person who gets inspiration in inconvenient places and sometimes has to stop and tend to that. 
I am a person who regrets the many creative acts she didn’t do for fear of failure.
I am the kind of person who spends energy just staying in a noisy space. A lot of energy.
I am a person who spends time translating what I am thinking into my approximation of non weirdness. 
I am a person who can be nutting out a problem in my writing or my course creating, as I do groceries and be oblivious to other people walking by.
I am a person who may be seen as unfriendly because of that.
I’m a person who seldom follows threads of friendship , not because I don’t want them but because I am engaged in loving what’s right in front of me and needing refill, so that I am seldom available for anything else, as lovely as that might be.
I am also a person who believes that people don't really want to spend time with me and that shrinking away is safer and kinder.
I am a person others turn away from. 
I am a person who loves big and likes people but has a tank for interacting that needs constant refills. (See translation comment above). 
I am a person who is learning about themselves, has been oblivious to harm making and is learning another way, trying to undo and mend.
I am a person who is grieving.
I am a person who who knows what I experience is not what everyone else does and who gets confused about what to leave in and what to leave out sometimes. 
I am a person who can cry at a colour or a bird song or kindness and a person who gets enraged at meanness. Particularly my own.
I am a person who values being understood.
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    jane- creativity activist, synchonicity celebrator, conduit for love.

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