The way they provoked in others a sense of my "greediness" or unseemly hunger. This was cause for me shutting them down. Turning off the tap of longing so that i protected those around me from what must be a maw in me... a cavern of unseemly want that was something to fear.
I became accustomed to turning away from my longings. Extinguishing them before they set fire to comfort and belonging.
Not knowing my longings lead me to listen to the wisdom of others. Listen to the "sensible" option. The safety. The normal.
This meant that my life choices had this flavour, this ring of the bell of ordinary tolled as i walked past.
Lately i have begun to question this wisdom.
What if my longings are Holy?
What if inside my longings are the call from the Divine to turn up in the world as i am uniquely tasked to do?
What if in attending to my longings i get to know what it is that i really want?
What if my longings will ring me into the world with a bell sound of the most exquisite clarity that my dreams are drawn to me purely by the sound of me?
What if when i live into my longings and cherish them i can claim my space here on this planet?
What if my longings set me free?
What if we share some longings here see our longings on this space as a first ring on the bell fashioned uniquely for us before our time here began?
I long for comfort. For tenderness. I long for being cherished and respected. i long for a house by the ocean where i can feed the great Mother and she can feed me. I long for beauty. I long for trust. I long to be honoured. I long to be alive.
What about you - what longings roll off the tongue of your heart?
Tell me. I am listening.