Working title - Validation - making your own measuring stick. The course is all about what makes us seek approval outside ourselves in a world that is not often willing to see us, that is sometimes hostile to our truth. I have gathered ideas and understandings about how the comes to be, what we can do to antidote that so that we are able to generate our own approval and keep ourselves intact in a world that sometimes wants us to turn up less than whole.
I love the strengthening and whole making aspects of the offering and am really excited to put it out into the world.
It has also made me feel a bit angry. How could we be delivered all these things that make us smaller when the world needs us to turn up in all of our magic and power to support and heal, reveal and question, comfort and create? How could whole family lines be tainted with meannesses and brokenness that allows for so little possibility.
As with many things i took it to meditation. Just so you know, meditation for me is not the zen like stillness of a thought free mind. Meditation for me is like a prayer to Love, an opening to the magic that lies just beyond my ken. Meditation for me can be filled with ancestors, archetypes or remnants of memory. I have learned to trust what turns up, even though my bossy mind tries to take control, i learn stuff when i turn up and allow.
The meditation consisted of me bringing that anger and dismay to that sacred space and having a little tantrum about how unfair it was. How could they? Why? (See i told you, no zen in my inner life.)
And what i got was "Mistaken Inheritance."
Mistaken inheritance. What we receive from those who go before us, the brokenness and the misdeeds are mistaken inheritance.
We are not meant to be the burden carriers from those who have gone before, or from the world around us in all its broken glory. It is a mistake that we hobble through the world under the weight of those things. That mistake is heavy and costly. But it is a mistake nonetheless.
What is meant to happen is that we understand our magnificence and bring that shining into the world every single day.
The mistakes get in the way. Lord knows i have had a fair few of my own. And i know i have handed some down to my girls already.
But i am going to be on the look out for mistaken inheritance from now on. I am going to find a part of myself viewing that mistake not with anger i hope, but with the will to do the best thing i can with a mistake. Own up. Make amends. Move on without it hobbling my life or the life of those around me. It is going to take practice but it sounds a whole lot better than being a beast of burden to a mistake.
What mistaken inheritance could you do with laying down?