" As the shadow is drawn up into consciousness, it becomes softer, more pliable, more gentle." Robert A. Johnson. Owning Your Own Shadow. Understanding the dark side of the psyche. pg 41.
When i first began my enquiry into the world of shadow i was shitting myself and in truth, hope-less.
I knew that i was a hideous person - a martyr, a weakling, a liar, avoidant and o so much more. I sure as hell didn't want to engage with any of that shit more than i had to.
Give me the shiny and the sweet any day.
But i knew, at the bottom of my sinking heart, that i had to look at those things in order to resolve the struggle i was constantly finding myself in - the seemingly unending ways my arseholery would turn up and leap into the spotlight.
I knew it was underneath my exhaustion. I knew it was underneath my imposter syndrome, my self sabotage, my volatile relationships. I knew that underneath all that was growing heavier by the day, were my failings and faults. Holding them down was becoming more and more arduous and I felt that if i kept dragging them around as i tried to walk in the world i would fall. Maybe for good.
I'm telling you this because i want to tell you i understand how shadow work can feel like the last bloody thing you want to do. When trying to hold onto the light is like a lifeline into the world you want to have, into the space where you are able to breathe, not drowning in the hard stuff.
It's my experience though that clinging onto the light, it gets more and more brittle. It's like the pressure of the unexpressed shadow robs the strength out of the experience of the light. It's like osteoporosis of the soul. The strength of your light is leached by unexpressed shadow and it is more and more easily fractured.
That's why this quote gave me so much hope.
If by approaching shadow "it becomes softer, more pliable, more gentle", then perhaps i too will become softer, more pliable, more gentle?
Although i didn't believe it, i began the work which has become Facing The Minotaur. This work, the gleanings of a 5 year process of enquiry, intuition, experimentation, learning and practice, has proven the veracity of this quote.
What once scared me shitless is now the ground for my recovery, my strength and my growth.
It is not a quick fix and is a dedication to wholeness that will call on your courage and commitment and it has changed my life. I am truly honoured to share it with you and if you have any questions or thoughts about shadow or about Facing the Minotaur i would love to connect with you about it.
With love and gratitude