i have been up for hours.
listening to the the stories about how i have no qualifications to do this. I have little skill. I don't know what i am doing.
i feel scared
i mean my work is going up on the wall to be judged by all who wander in there.
Sure the opening i have delineated - inviting only people who will celebrate with me. But after that...
Little pieces of my heart are up there on the wall. There i am saying "this is the best i have" No fall back position, no excuse.
It is terrifying.
I may be shitting myself and the voice of the "who do you think you are?" chorus is raised in shrill cacophony.
I may be a bit shaky and yet to tie final strings on the back of works and put prices on things (oh yes i hear how those few words raise the volume of the chorus).
I may be wondering why the hell i said yes to this chance.
And yet i know.
I stand up because i get only one go at this life.
I stand up because i have an obligation to speak what i know to be true in the world. For myself and for those who need to hear so that they too can stand up.
I stand up because i am given gifts of loving insight from somewhere both inside and outside myself and and i am disrespectful if i hide that here in my little room
I am scared
I stand up.
wish me luck.
i am going in.