i knew a man, H, who had lived in abusive situations all his life. He was damaged. He was blind and his body was covered in scars from laying next to uncovered radiators. They said he could not feel. I first met him when i had to tend to second degree burns on his arm.
He was huge. About 6 foot 4 and very strong. And his looming scarred presence was kind of terrifying.
He lived inside. Going outside had never been offered up to him other than by accident.
One day i was with him when he inadvertently got outside.
Out into the courtyard, into the sunshine. into the air.
And i saw him lift his face to the sun, unable to see but instead feeling the light on his skin.
His head began to swivel slowly, face tilted to the light. Side to side. Back and forth.
Soaking in this gift.
A soft breeze came. His whole body seemed to attend to the shift in the air.
And he began to make a sound i had never heard before.
A giggle. A chortle.
This huge man mountain who supposedly could not feel came alive with the softest of touches - the unseen sun and the kiss of a breeze.
And as i walked outside today and the soft rain was falling and i raised and swivelled my face to greet it i remembered him. And that gift he gave me that day.
P.S. I tried to take him outside as often as i could after that. Much to the staff's dismay as they had to help me manhandle him back inside where he was very understandably reluctant to return. But knowing how much it meant to him meant i had to try.
He was huge. About 6 foot 4 and very strong. And his looming scarred presence was kind of terrifying.
He lived inside. Going outside had never been offered up to him other than by accident.
One day i was with him when he inadvertently got outside.
Out into the courtyard, into the sunshine. into the air.
And i saw him lift his face to the sun, unable to see but instead feeling the light on his skin.
His head began to swivel slowly, face tilted to the light. Side to side. Back and forth.
Soaking in this gift.
A soft breeze came. His whole body seemed to attend to the shift in the air.
And he began to make a sound i had never heard before.
A giggle. A chortle.
This huge man mountain who supposedly could not feel came alive with the softest of touches - the unseen sun and the kiss of a breeze.
And as i walked outside today and the soft rain was falling and i raised and swivelled my face to greet it i remembered him. And that gift he gave me that day.
P.S. I tried to take him outside as often as i could after that. Much to the staff's dismay as they had to help me manhandle him back inside where he was very understandably reluctant to return. But knowing how much it meant to him meant i had to try.
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