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when we don't know what we are giving - remembering H,

12/2/2013

8 Comments

 
i knew a man, H, who had lived in abusive situations all his life.  He was damaged.  He was blind and his body was covered in scars from laying next to uncovered radiators.  They said he could not feel.  I first met him when i had to tend to second degree burns on his arm.


He was huge.  About 6 foot 4 and very strong.  And his looming scarred presence was kind of terrifying. 


He lived inside.  Going outside had never been offered up to him other than by accident.

One day i was with him when he inadvertently got outside.

Out into the courtyard,  into the sunshine.  into the air.

And i saw him lift his face to the sun,  unable to see but instead feeling the light on his skin.

His head began to swivel slowly, face tilted to the light.  Side to side.  Back and forth.

Soaking in this gift.

A soft breeze came.  His whole body seemed to attend to the shift in the air.  

And he began to make a sound i had never heard before.

A giggle.  A chortle.

This huge man mountain who supposedly could not feel came alive with the softest of touches - the unseen sun and the kiss of a breeze.

And as i walked outside today and the soft rain was falling and i raised and swivelled my face to greet it i remembered him.  And that gift he gave me that day.

P.S. I tried to take him outside as often as i could after that.  Much to the staff's dismay as they had to help me manhandle him back inside where he was very understandably reluctant to return.  But knowing how much it meant to him meant i had to try. 
8 Comments
Square-Peg Karen link
12/2/2013 06:08:33 am

Oh this is beautiful, Jane! Thank you for sharing. I have a real visual (and spot in my heart for) of M.

Reply
jane
12/2/2013 06:11:10 am

Thank you Karen - I just ached for him this morning... and remembered what an act of love simply walking outside can be

Reply
Meg
12/2/2013 06:26:45 am

It's true about the 'little things'. I think anyone who's had to forgo them for any time can testify to that. You gave him one of the little things, darling. Whenever you could. And oh, thank goodness.
You know, I love that when we're used as an instrument that the blessing often mirrors back to us (if we're paying attention). Not always, but often enough. It seems to be part of the Universal algorithm or something. xo

Reply
jane
12/2/2013 12:36:47 pm

those kind of universal algorithms I can live with... little things are often bigger than we know.

Reply
Square-Peg Karen link
12/3/2013 04:52:37 am

Ahem - got notification of Meg's and your comments, Jane (signed up to read comments) - came back here and noticed that I'd called "H" "M" - feels like a dis-tribute! Sorry!

And here's to that "Universal algorithm" (better go look that up!) that Meg mentioned - I've noticed that too!

Reply
Square-Peg Karen link
12/3/2013 04:52:59 am

Ahem - got notification of Meg's and your comments, Jane (signed up to read comments) - came back here and noticed that I'd called "H" "M" - feels like a dis-tribute! Sorry!

And here's to that "Universal algorithm" (better go look that up!) that Meg mentioned - I've noticed that too!

Reply
Square-Peg Karen link
12/3/2013 04:53:19 am

Ahem - got notification of Meg's and your comments, Jane (signed up to read comments) - came back here and noticed that I'd called "H" "M" - feels like a dis-tribute! Sorry!

And here's to that "Universal algorithm" (better go look that up!) that Meg mentioned - I've noticed that too!

Reply
Patricia Vertes link
2/19/2014 12:14:19 pm

As the face of the sunflower turns up towards the sun
How this strange man has benefited from its light and
Oh! Take notice of the meaning of what he has won.

The gentle touch of a breeze can give one such pleasure
Something that we should always remember to treasure.

Reply



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    jane- creativity activist, synchonicity celebrator, conduit for love.

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